Saturday, July 4, 2009

It's okay to smile for yourself

I am indulging in a little Buffy the Vampire Slayer Therapy. Usually, I like to shop when I'm feeling down, but I can't get out the the stores (that are currently closed anyway) on my own, so that will have to come later.
Perhaps when my mother gets paid.

I think I want to try a new look, but I just don't know what. I refuse to straighten my hair, so it won't be a return to the relaxer or some other drastic hair change. Eventually, I think I'd like to keep my hair in braids or twists at least until I can grow it out so that it reaches my waist curly, but that's a pretty big eventually. It's a little below chin length all curly now, and past my shoulders straight.

But no, I won't be making a hair change. Perhaps some makeup, and some new clothes.
I feel like I need to change my appearance to match the changes I'm trying to make in myself right now.
My looks should reflect my new direction. If I'm ever going to get him back, or ever find The One, I need to become whole again.

My goals are as follows:

Get a driver's license
Get my credit straightened out
Get a job
Get better grades
Get more loans and/ or scholarships and grants
Get my own place

I don't know when or how that last one will come into play, but I need to be away from my family, and on my own. I need to live my life for me, and no one else.

I'm really grateful to the online community that I'm a part of. They're really helping me to look forward.

Then again, I could be looking forward because I want to get my boyfriend back... or because I want to avoid feeling like I'm dying.

I suppose it doesn't really matter so long as I move forward.

Alright, back to BtVS!

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