I was listening to one of the "Black" radio stations in the cab this morning, and they were doing a segment where a listener writes in about some problem and the hosts call upon the listening public to weigh in.
Today's "problem" involved a woman engaged to be married who had some concerns about her fiance. Apparently her fiance had confessed to sexually experimenting with a man in the past, and now she's worried about marrying him.
I'm going to call this woman "Weak Love" because if this shakes her when she's been with this man long enough to know up until his revelation that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him, then her love for him is a weak one.
I'm sure you can just guess how the discussion went after that. Lots of laughing and joking abot the man's sexuality, and the hosts saying in varying ways how that's just "not right."
They then read a text from a listener who said something to the effect of "there is something in a man's anus that causes pleasure just like a woman would receive in her vagina. Why should it matter what this man did in the past just because society has a problem with it? Don't let society tell you how to live your life!"
While a very simple statement, it goes right to the point. Why should it matter whether he had sex with a man in the past? It's really not all that complicated, and perhaps that's why that one listener's statement was so fitting. The past is in the past, and if he loves you, he loves you. Why should his having sex with a man matter any more than it would if he admitted to having slept with other women?
An then all of my hopes for a potentially progressive discussion were crushed.
Female host: "That's probably the person at the toy party who goes for the beads!"
Seriously?
Seriously?!
And then from there it only got worse as they were encouraged by callers backing them up and providing their own "insight."
One woman outright said that Weak Love should just leave him because his having sex with a man in the past means that he must want men, and that it's wrong of him to be with her because a "real man wouldn't sleep with no other man," and that "a real man wants a woman."
Even though I know that people say those sorts of things all the time (I even live with some of the same sort), it's still just mind-blowing every time I hear it.
Just the other night I was at my cousin's house, and he was talking about someone walking "gay." I gave the politest "wtf" that I could considering my aunt and uncle were there as well and I can't debate these sorts of things with them like I do with my mother, and made no effort to hide my distaste every time something like that was said.
I suppose what bugs me the most is how it everyone likes to play oppressor. I won't get into any discussions of "whiteness" and privilege in this post, but the same attitude exists even within minority groups. One would think that with all of the oppression suffered at the hands of the white patriarchy, that women and minorities would at least recognize that they are only emulating the very behavior that causes them to suffer.
While I don't personally have an opinion on whether or not homosexuality is morally right, and I don't think that I should as what someone chooses to do with his or her own body is not my business, I do believe in equality. I believe that no one has the right to infringe upon another person's independence, where they are causing no harm.
If God is about love as evidenced through the teachings of Jesus Christ, then who am I to send malice toward another person just because of how they choose to live.* If God loves us all, then how dare anyone hate another? I think that hatred is a much greater wrong than homosexuality could ever be.
Note: I also don't have an opinion as to whether sexual orientation is a choice. The only "choice" that definitely exists is in what sort of lifestyle one chooses to lead. A person can be flamboyant, closeted, butch, effeminate, or can present any other face to the world. The choice of whether you'll be true to yourself is the only one that I can say for sure that I believe in.
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